What a day...

Alright.
So I didn't go to English today... I was far too tired, and I wanted to study for Calculus but that didn't happen. I went to Art History, and almost fell asleep. Then, after doing notes at Brennan's, I went to my Calculus mid-term exam. I think I did horribly. I felt like crying in the middle of the exam because I had to leave some blank because I just didn't know how to solve them. I feel terrible. It really sucks.

But other than that it was a good day. I'm excited to wear a new dress I got for St. Patrick's day. It's really pretty. I also have my Japanese mid-term exam tomorrow. I really really hope I get a perfect score but I don't think that's gonna happen. I often make silly little mistakes with Kanji and stuff... but I've been studying my kanji a lot. Particles are kinda hard, too. I really want the college of Arts and Sciences to get back to me on the whole major change and whatnot. Maybe I'll get the e-mail tomorrow. I hope so...

Ahhh. I really don't have too much else to say. We sent out the Anime program acceptances last night. We still haven't heard from one person so we don't know whether or not he'll say yes, but Anime was his first choice so I imagine he'll agree.

One of my friends is considering dropping out of school. I really don't want him to, but he needs to get it together if he's gonna make it here. I'm glad he's coming to me for support. I like to be there for people when they need me. Feels good, I guess. He's a really good guy so I want him to stay, so we're gonna talk on Wednesday. I also think he has other stuff going on that he needs to talk about. I hope everything turns out right for him. He deserves it.

Heehee, Joe got his hair cut. Apparently really short, too. I really wanna see the pictures!!! He needs to get back from dinner so that he can post them online! I'm anxious!

Hmm, well I guess I need to review for the Japanese test... or I'll read a manga or something.

OKAY! THE MUSIC APPRECIATION SUITE NEEDS TO LEARN THAT DRUMMING ON EVERYTHING IN THEIR ROOMS IS REALLY ANNOYING TO THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE BELOW THEM!!!! AS IS THEIR MUSIC PLAYING ON REPEAT WITH A REPETITIVE BASS LINE FOR A HALF AN HOUR!!!! UUUUGGHHHH!!!

Okay, going to go do something else. Mata ne...

I'm not the person I want to be... or rather, I'm not the person that I think everyone else wants me to be...

So I've been noticing that I have been shutting out some people and aspects of my life that used to be there before. I've condensed my world to be smaller (in some ways) than it used to be. I'm not sure if this change is good. I feel like a lot of people want me to be integrated into their lives, and I only want to be a part of a few of them. I like my world to be smaller, but people get hurt when I push them out of my main circle. I try and try to condense the circle, and people keep trying to pull the perimeter out to encompass them. I don't want them to hate me because I still like them; but, for me, it's so hard to deal with everyone. I have a hard enough time dealing with my own life, and to have to try to deal with a lot of other people's is hard. That's not to say that I don't like helping people out, but the number of people that I can help is limited. There are things that I want to do, and right now, I'm trying to make sure that I'm happy, because if I'm not happy, the people around me are affected. So I'm not sure who to cater to: myself, or the people around me?

So that's my thought for today. As for the shallower thoughts, my boyfriend hasn't talked to me in 2 days, but he said that he would call me yesterday, and he didn't. And he didn't talk to me today, either. So I'm sad. I'm also over-reacting big time. I know he's probably busy (except that today is Friday, so not many people would be doing homework and things) but I can't help feeling like he's being rude by not answering his phone or sending me a text saying that he's too busy to talk or something. Any sign that he's still alive, and acknowledges that I'm here, would be okay with me. *Sigh* Again, I'm over-reacting a little.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a really great show. "Enemies" is a great episode. ^_^

I'm a little depressive right now. It happens when I don't get to talk to him. And when I'm under stress. A lot of people are asking a lot of things from me, and a lot of people are driving me up the wall with their annoying-ness. So maybe it's a combination of sadness, annoyance, and all around being stressed-out that's gotten me down lately. I hope it all changes, and soon.