I didn't get the job I got interviewed for. Still looking.
For goodness sake, I freaking love my mom! She's the most encouraging and loving mother I'll ever know.
I'm gonna go read some books. Now that I have time to, I'm really excited about reading for fun again...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Devastating news? I think not...
Alrighty.
So turns out. Joe broke up with me. Said I wasn't worth the relationship and that he never loved me. He made me feel worthless and stupid, and he lied to me for 4 months. And then, he asked me to be his friend. Hell... no...
But even though that hurt, I was really just pissed that I had wasted 4 months of my life where I could have been going out with someone who actually understood what a relationship was.
So what did I do? I went and told the people who didn't know about our relationship, like his family and ex-boyfriend. His ex was happy that I told him. He agrees with me. Which is excellent. Joe got mad about that, but it's his own damn fault that he lied to everyone like that. Only an asshole lies to their family. I should have known that, but I guess "love" blinds people.
And you know what? I'm perfectly happy without him. I don't need someone like that in my life. I'm on a new birth control and, since taking it, I haven't gotten upset or lashed out or cried or anything. Even when someone made me mad. I kept my cool and ignored it. A month ago I would have cried or yelled. It's excellent. I'm just plain happier. I'm spending more time with my friends. I'm getting to know some really awesome guys too! People are on my side. I have people in my life who think I'm more special than other people... which is something Joe couldn't do, apparently. I was just as special as any other friend to him. Which I think is inhuman. You have to prioritize people or you're going to end up with no friends.
So I have two exams finished and one more to go! I'm excited to go home. Some people that I met this year aren't coming back to school next year. I'm really really sad about that! I wish they could stay because they're the coolest people ever!
So, I'm eager to make my life into what it should be, without Joe. My life should consist of the same amount of schoolwork, more friends, and more downtime. Joe just caused stress, and I know that now. I'd also like to have a relationship that didn't revolve around the physical. That was the only real thing with Joe. I want a relationship where we have an emotional and intellectual connection. I want a guy who is both emotionally and intellectually mature. I want someone who deserves me and proves that he appreciates me before any kind of intimacy happens. I think that's how it should be. So this has been a long post, but I really needed to put down all my thoughts. Maybe next post I'll put down all my worries. There are a few for this summer. I thought I would need Joe for this summer to help me through these things, but you know what? I have other people. They really care about me a lot. They know how I feel and empathize, or sympathize. Either way, they're there for me, and that's all I need. No stupid boys who have the emotional capacity of a blueberry scone (Buffy reference, but an awesome one that totally applies).
Alright, I'll stop for tonight. Thanks for reading!
Goodnight!
So turns out. Joe broke up with me. Said I wasn't worth the relationship and that he never loved me. He made me feel worthless and stupid, and he lied to me for 4 months. And then, he asked me to be his friend. Hell... no...
But even though that hurt, I was really just pissed that I had wasted 4 months of my life where I could have been going out with someone who actually understood what a relationship was.
So what did I do? I went and told the people who didn't know about our relationship, like his family and ex-boyfriend. His ex was happy that I told him. He agrees with me. Which is excellent. Joe got mad about that, but it's his own damn fault that he lied to everyone like that. Only an asshole lies to their family. I should have known that, but I guess "love" blinds people.
And you know what? I'm perfectly happy without him. I don't need someone like that in my life. I'm on a new birth control and, since taking it, I haven't gotten upset or lashed out or cried or anything. Even when someone made me mad. I kept my cool and ignored it. A month ago I would have cried or yelled. It's excellent. I'm just plain happier. I'm spending more time with my friends. I'm getting to know some really awesome guys too! People are on my side. I have people in my life who think I'm more special than other people... which is something Joe couldn't do, apparently. I was just as special as any other friend to him. Which I think is inhuman. You have to prioritize people or you're going to end up with no friends.
So I have two exams finished and one more to go! I'm excited to go home. Some people that I met this year aren't coming back to school next year. I'm really really sad about that! I wish they could stay because they're the coolest people ever!
So, I'm eager to make my life into what it should be, without Joe. My life should consist of the same amount of schoolwork, more friends, and more downtime. Joe just caused stress, and I know that now. I'd also like to have a relationship that didn't revolve around the physical. That was the only real thing with Joe. I want a relationship where we have an emotional and intellectual connection. I want a guy who is both emotionally and intellectually mature. I want someone who deserves me and proves that he appreciates me before any kind of intimacy happens. I think that's how it should be. So this has been a long post, but I really needed to put down all my thoughts. Maybe next post I'll put down all my worries. There are a few for this summer. I thought I would need Joe for this summer to help me through these things, but you know what? I have other people. They really care about me a lot. They know how I feel and empathize, or sympathize. Either way, they're there for me, and that's all I need. No stupid boys who have the emotional capacity of a blueberry scone (Buffy reference, but an awesome one that totally applies).
Alright, I'll stop for tonight. Thanks for reading!
Goodnight!
Friday, May 1, 2009
YES!
Classes are done for this year! And I don't have an exam until Monday! Great stuff!
So here's the thing. I have the greatest parents in the world. I was in a bind twice this week because I have no money. First, I overdrew slightly on my bank account, and my mom called the bank to make them "let it slide" as a courtesy thing. She also had them put $50 into my account so that I could eat. She's sending up more money, as well. And then last night, I spilled a drink on the keyboard of my laptop. Stupid move. So they keyboard wasn't working so well. I went the the computer depot, and they told me they couldn't fix it because it was under warranty. I could buy a new keyboard that plugs into the USB, but I didn't have enough money to do that. So I called my Dad and he told the store his credit card number so that I could get the keyboard. So basically, even though I don't really deserve it, my parents help me a lot. I really love them and I'm so grateful for them.
So I'm feeling a little better. This week just hasn't been a great one. But I'm going to focus on studying.
Oh guess what?! I might have a job as soon as I get back from school! I'm really glad. It's not full time, but that's okay, it's got a decent wage. I'm really lucky I guess, because in these poor economic times, I wasn't sure if I could get a job at all... so it's good.
I still have more problems to resolve... but thank goodness I have people who can help me like my parents.... <3
Time for a little bit of Beltane fun!
So here's the thing. I have the greatest parents in the world. I was in a bind twice this week because I have no money. First, I overdrew slightly on my bank account, and my mom called the bank to make them "let it slide" as a courtesy thing. She also had them put $50 into my account so that I could eat. She's sending up more money, as well. And then last night, I spilled a drink on the keyboard of my laptop. Stupid move. So they keyboard wasn't working so well. I went the the computer depot, and they told me they couldn't fix it because it was under warranty. I could buy a new keyboard that plugs into the USB, but I didn't have enough money to do that. So I called my Dad and he told the store his credit card number so that I could get the keyboard. So basically, even though I don't really deserve it, my parents help me a lot. I really love them and I'm so grateful for them.
So I'm feeling a little better. This week just hasn't been a great one. But I'm going to focus on studying.
Oh guess what?! I might have a job as soon as I get back from school! I'm really glad. It's not full time, but that's okay, it's got a decent wage. I'm really lucky I guess, because in these poor economic times, I wasn't sure if I could get a job at all... so it's good.
I still have more problems to resolve... but thank goodness I have people who can help me like my parents.... <3
Time for a little bit of Beltane fun!
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